Pond,

 

When you throw a rock in the pond, there will be a ripple effect and when you use a particular word, you trigger for yourself, but also, for others, a whole set of reactions. We, unknowingly, constantly, react to our own language or to the language of others. Our reactivity prevents us from responding or from using our language for us, instead of against us. We have weaponized our language, as we believe, we can win the argument. Surely, the language we use, isn’t really our language, as we are possessed by it, rather than in charge of it and use it as we want to.

 

When we look into the clear water of the pond and watch the red carps swimming around, we become aware of the sound of the words, we use, while we speak and, suddenly, without any practice, without any effort, we engage in Embodied Language (EL), as our usual Disembodied Language (DL) has come to an end. This shift in our attention, had nothing to do with the words we said, as we didn’t say anything, that is, we didn’t speak, to have others listen to us, but we spoke, to be able to listen to ourselves.

 

The pond is not a metaphor for our language, since anything that comes to, supposedly, represent our language, creates more confusion. People compare  language to water, music, consciousness, poetry, comfort, health, illness, escape, worry or struggle, but such indirect use of language is the basis for DL.  In EL, we don’t compare our language to anything and, consequently, our words begin to make sense. We call it having peace of mind, but we finally are able to use our language correctly and joyfully.

 

We say, a picture speaks a thousand words, but we don’t realize, we engage, as usual, in DL. We even claim, we think in pictures, but this is only the way in which we speak, as neuroscientists have never found any words or pictures inside our brain. Our DL takes us into all kinds of falsehoods, which only become clear, if our DL has been stopped. Perhaps, it helps to meditate near a pond, but most likely it will not make any difference, unless we start talking out loud with ourselves and listening to the sound of our voice, so we can hear, we no longer sound so agitated, fragmented, confused and disappointed.

 

Only if there’s not a whiff of wind, the surface of the pond will be smooth as glass and perfectly reflect the single fluffy cloud, which is floating through the inky sky and temporarily obfuscating the full moon. By describing what is in our attention, we become attentive and whatever was attracting and holding our attention, is now giving us attention. In DL, we, as speakers or as writers, always demand the listener’s or the reader’s attention, but in EL, the speaker is him or herself the listener and the writer is him or herself the reader. During EL, there is no other listener, than the speaker him or herself and no other reader, than the writer him or herself. Our inability to conceptualize this, shows that we use our language unintelligently and unrealistically.

 

To speak and to imagine, there exists is a listener, other than we ourselves, is to fantasize about yet another pipe-dream, which is a nightmare, since we are never really listened to by the other. Likewise, to write, in the hope or in the belief, that others will read, understand or appreciate it, prevents us from acknowledging, that we can have our own language and, therefore, our own understanding of ourselves. Like the previously described fixation on words, this outward orientation, also changes the sound of our voice and makes us sound demanding and draining.

 

In DL, we force others to listen to us, but they never really listen, as they don’t want to listen, because we don’t speak in a manner, which elicits listening. As I have stated, we either react or respond, but our ability to do one or the other, isn’t, as we would all like to believe, voluntary. To the contrary, any kind of threat, even a perceived threat, elicits – whether we admit it or not, talk about it or not, are aware about it or not – an involuntary, autonomic or mobilization reaction. Similarly, what Stephen Porges has called, neuroception, that is, our awareness of whether we are safe instead of threatened, is also involuntary, it just happens, as we are all innately wired to survive. When we feel safe, we know, we feel safe and we know, because our DL has stopped and we have EL. Only during EL, do we use our language voluntarily.

 

I happen to know two famous Americans authors, who are somewhat obsessed with ponds. In his book Walden Two, B.F. Skinner steps into the shoes of the transcendentalist H.D. Thoreau, who wrote Walden; or Life in the Woods. Thoreau was a writer and Skinner had also wanted to become a writer before he became a behavioral scientist. Thoreau’s text, was a reflection upon his simple living in natural surroundings and Skinner’s book was an illustration of what a society could be like, if it was based on his behavioral principles. Both men are examples of the great American ideal of personal freedom, independence and self-reliance. Thoreau lived for two years in a self-made hut, near the Walden Pond. Skinner also always did his own thing and he single-handedly created behavioral analysis. Like so many other so-called great thinkers, these men and Porges too, attempted to stop DL and have EL, but they didn’t succeed, as they considered, what was  written, as more important, than what was spoken.

 

When I started out writing this text, with pond as my theme, I didn’t know, I was going to write and remember what I just did. In this last paragraph, I want to speak about a pond, I once sat at, in the night, when I still lived in the Netherlands. It was so beautiful and so peaceful. One night, however, a gigantic branch, broke off and came crashing down  right next to me. It could have killed me, but I just continued to sit there and I was feeling so grateful. I am now also reminded of a poem I wrote back then.

 

Park

 

Sounds of cars are far away

The park is dark and still

I like to be here on my own until

Underneath my favorite tree

Feeling its depth and height

Peaceful unknown energy

Fills me up with light