Sounding Board,

 

In Disembodied Language (DL), we want others to agree with our opinions. We, so to speak, test the waters, by offering our views, to see if what we say is liked. If the other person is considered to be a good listener, he or she offers so-called feedback, by confirming our ideas or by letting us know, we are off key. This is as far as we usually go with listening. In Embodied Language (EL), on the other hand, we listen to ourselves and decide for ourselves, if we enjoy what we say or not. Stated differently, in DL, we deal with our language very differently, than in EL, as in DL, the other is more important than us,  but in EL, we are more important than anyone else.

 

The profoundly significant difference between DL and EL is the quintessential issue of our time, yet nobody is interested. There is a real reason for this: we simply don’t want others to disagree with us or  dislike us and that is why we continue with our DL. In other words, only if we allow others to reject us, that is, only if we fully accept, that anyone with DL will always disagree with EL, only then, will we be able to step out of our history of conditioning with DL and are we able to have EL, because, only then, our DL has been stopped. Another, more common way of saying this, is that by talking out loud alone with ourselves and by listening to ourselves, we can hear, that we engage in DL and speak from our head  or we engage in EL and we speak from our heart.

 

Speaking your so-called mind, is really saying what you want to say, in the way that you want to say it, but when does that ever happen? When we speak with ourselves alone, we find ourselves capable of saying many things, we couldn’t say to others. More importantly, if we take the time, to check in with ourselves – to listen to ourselves and let ourselves know, not what we are thinking, but what we could only say, if we gave ourselves the permission, to say whatever we wanted to say – we can say things, we should keep to ourselves, because each time we say them to others, it doesn’t seem to matter. While speaking aloud, alone with ourselves and while listening to and enjoying the sound of our natural effortless voice, we finally can say precisely what we wanted to say, without any interference from others and stay with ourselves. This is how we discover our EL and find out, that we can only continue with EL, to the extent that we keep talking with ourselves.

 

There is no mind in EL and we neither express our thoughts, our feelings or our experiences, as we can say whatever we are capable of saying, because we give ourselves the opportunity to say it and to come to know it. Thus, in EL, we acquire self-knowledge in which the distinction between thoughts, feelings, memories, ideas, beliefs, impressions, associations or experiences is irrelevant, because whatever we say consists merely of words or verbal constructs.

 

Quite literally, a sounding board is a board or screen placed over or behind a pulpit or stage, to reflect a speaker’s voice forward. Obviously, it is meant to amplify a speaker’s voice, to give distinctness and sonority to his or her sound, so that the audience can hear him or her. In effect, a sounding board  changes the sound of the speaker, due to which he or she comes across more clearly. Of course, this only deals with other-listening, not self-listening. Besides, in common parlance, being someone’s sounding board, is meant metaphorically, that is, we use others as a means of evaluating our own ideas.

 

In EL, we don’t amplify or do anything in particular with our sound, but in DL, we always try to sound friendly,  strong, certain, decisive, knowledgeable, positive or meaningful, that is, in DL we act how we sound. However, in EL, we listen to ourselves while we speak, which means, we are aware about how we sound. Awareness of the sound of our speaking voice, makes us conscious about our language and therefore of ourselves. Moreover, in EL we literally, unapologetically, deliberately and skillfully love to hear ourselves talk, as we continuously produce only the sound, which we like to hear. Indeed, in EL, we can really truly be ourselves. In DL, by contrast, listening always equals listening to someone else, therefore, in DL, we speak, unconsciously, with a voice, which we ourselves don’t even want to hear and this has many negative consequences.

 

With EL, we are coming into our own. Yesterday, I was talking with my lovely wife Bonnie, about how I kept losing my own EL again and again, because I wanted so badly, to be able to have it with others. Of course, it is absolutely possible and beneficial to have EL with others, but since we were conditioned to have DL, we mechanically want to continue with our DL and avoid the challenge of having ongoing EL. I told Bonnie how relieved I feel, I no longer – as I used to – desire to have EL with others. I described this relief as my Language Enlightenment (LE). She said, but isn’t LE the same as being happy with yourself? I said yes and we laughed together.