Energy,

 

Today, I am full of energy, and I was wondering, why I feel so strongly, that Embodied Language (EL) is so important, while, basically, nobody really cares? It became clear to me, I can only express my energy when I have EL, but I had not until now recognized that. I have a need to direct my energy, which is nonverbal, and EL is my way to channel my energy.

 

In Disembodied Language (DL), my energy is lost, disturbed, fragmented or distracted, but with EL, my energy flows naturally, effortlessly and beautifully. It is all about how I prefer to communicate with others and, I acknowledge, for the most part, others are not willing or capable of communicating in that way.

 

I don’t want to say something, which doesn’t reach, which isn’t listened to and understood. My energy is such, that I don’t care for what is considered small talk. It is not that I cannot do it, but I don’t want to do it, as I know something better. Yes, I don’t like to waste my time and energy with nonsensical stuff.

 

I rather conserve my energy, by staying alone, than to be burdened by the unconscious DL, everyone has. I don’t meet anyone – who hasn’t read or heard about my work – who is right away able to have EL. I don’t believe, however, that anyone is unaffected by DL and my experience has taught me, that I am the one who suffers, if I stay around the DL of others.

 

From a very young age, my energy was rejected and misunderstood. Luckily, I was able to discover, in my early twenties, that I could talk out loud with myself alone and experience the healing energy of my EL, on my own and recover from my traumas with DL. I used to feel sad, I was so impacted and impaired by DL and I tried to change that, but it hasn’t changed.

 

My selectivity has only become more and not less. I recognize, why I can’t stand DL and also understand why my energy is affected. My energy has its own movement. It is very delicate; therefore, it is easily disturbed. I have no problem admitting that and I realize, my whole life has been shaped. by my own attempts to do what I can, to safeguard my energy.

 

After I left my job, recently, I felt set free from the strange and overwhelming energy of the people I had been working with. I have gone through this experience many times before, but this time, more than ever, I am aware about what a great difference it makes, to not be exposed to the DL of others and to simply be left alone again, with my own energy.

 

Each time I consciously moved away from the DL of others; I felt a sense of relief. I am reminded of how I used to be, as I used to try, to not be so affected, by the DL of others. Of course, I also tried to stop my own DL, which kept reoccurring, in reaction to the DL of others. However, now that I know, there is no language inside of me, this reaction is completely gone, and my own energy is expressed as I want to.

 

The other day, I turned sixty-five. For all these years, I was still – in spite of my discovery of EL – involved in the fantasy of having inner language. How could this be? Now that I have begun to speak and write about my own energy, it is clear, it was my inability, to square my many years of meditation with my EL, which continued the absurdity of inner language.

 

My EL is like an inexhaustible energy source, but it is only now, I can fully comprehend and accept, that it is really its own thing, which makes meditation look like a stupid activity. Obviously, the whole issue of meditation is based on the false assumption, that we have a mind, due to which we constantly chatter with ourselves, inside of our head. With meditation, we were told, we can witness our thoughts, we can transcend our mind and be liberated from thinking.

 

The prices of energy keep going up. Clean energy is the talk of the day and people do what they can, to be more energy efficient. Yet, nobody is concerned about the energy-loss, which occurs. due to how we continue to use our language. Our DL creates the illusion, that we have thoughts. This is why, in one way or another, we are all obsessed with thought.  

 

With EL, we realize – once and for all – there are no thoughts, there is no prison to be released from and this is our Language Enlightenment (LE). It is so clear now, that I didn’t know this until very recently, when suddenly I began to tell myself, that there can’t be any language inside of me. I am still in the process of coming to grips with this gigantic realization.  

 

In the beginning, I simply said to myself, a couple of times, that, of course, there are no words inside of my brain, but only neurons and neurotransmitters, as I felt that it was needed, to be able to reason from this perspective, but now I have talked and written about it and explored it, it is revealed to me, what it is like, to experience my own energy and to fully admit, I never had any language inside of me.

 

If we talk and understand each other, this gives us energy, but our communication is energy-draining, if it fails to achieve understanding. In a nutshell, this is the difference between EL and DL. I acknowledge, my initial descriptions of DL, EL, LE, but also of my energy, was, inadvertently, to let others know about it, but at this point, only my own energy speaks.

 

My entire body responds with a tingling sense of energy and joy. I feel so incredibly happy, that I have come to this. I am grateful to my dear Dutch friend AnnaMieke, who in her exploration and formulation of her EL, repeatedly refers to the calm unfolding of her language. By talking with her, every week, I have started to give in, to this gentleness and simplicity, which is revealed, because my energy is addressed.

 

As I write this, I want to say something more about my LE. My LE is who I am, and I am this energy, this living current, which can only be expressed by my EL. Indeed, the subtlety of my EL, is my energy. My whole body rejoices with this resonant bliss, as if I just struck a gong and hear its sound. Surely, my voice is my energy-sound, to which I fully surrender, as there is no concern anymore about anything else.

 

I have been excavating my speaking voice and have undone what prevented it from being what it always was. To know, that there are no thoughts, is to witness that there are no thoughts and to write this, is such a victory. I will continue to live my life, based on the energy, which stems from my LE and if you talk with me, you will experience, how this energy will begin to express itself for you, with your EL, too.