Gone,

 

Why aren’t you laughing as much as you would like to? You would like to laugh more, but each time you laugh – which is not very often – you are painfully aware, it didn’t last very long. It never lasted long enough. You’ve got every reason to feel upset. Just when you got the taste of it, it was already gone.

 

Those people, you have known, who you might have laughed with, have died, but they haven’t gone to some heaven or somewhere else, because they are absolutely gone, because death is the end. Your belief in some imaginary afterlife is funny, as it stops you from laughing, while you are still alive. I have never heard anyone speak about the Here-After, Heaven, Walhalla, Nirwana or The Happy Hunting Ground as a place, where we are going to laugh.  

 

Your laughter was always short-lived. And this didn’t happen just once, but it happened all the time, always. Of course, this is frustrating. Laughter and frustration don't go well together. You don’t laugh, you can’t laugh, because, even if it happens, you feel so frustrated, it never lasts and it is gone before you know it. Why can’t you keep on laughing?  

 

When men can’t get an erection anymore, they may take Viagra, but the fact remains, that they have lost their passion. Likewise, when people want others to be funny, so that they can laugh, it is evident, they have lost their own sense of humor. Nobody seems to acknowledge, but it is embarrassing and boring, when all laughter is gone. There’s much more to the absence of laughter, than we are willing to admit.

 

Why have sex, if there is no orgasm? Why watch a movie, if you can’t keep watching it till the end? You don’t want to turn it off in the middle, right? You want to know what happened and how did it end? There is a conclusion, a result, an outcome of being able to laugh, at your heart’s content, but you never find out about that, since you’ve stopped laughing already, and you have remained dissatisfied about the outcome of your laughter, without realizing it. Actually, you feel cheated out of having fun, as you know very well, you have been stopped by others from continuing with your laughter again and again. Nobody is going to help you. Even the best so-called stand-up comedians have completely failed you.

 

At best, your mediocre appetite for humor was slightly wetted, but you never followed through, on your own personal longing for laughter. Perhaps, you went on some torturous spiritual journey. May be, you tried to climb a high mountain, but you could never imagine, humor was going to take you somewhere and was going to reveal something of great importance to you. Your laughter died an early death, due to your attitude. Be honest and admit, you never bothered to give it any consideration.

 

Mostly, you have stopped your own laughter, but, since it is easier to blame others, you have never paid much attention to this. If you did, you might actually begin to become capable of laughing a little longer – and more often – so you can draw your own conclusions from your improved mental health. The issue is not, whether there is something funny for you to laugh about, but whether you are capable of laughing, without having anything to laugh about. How long will you be able to keep it up, in spite of the fact, that there is no support for your laughter, anywhere? Unless you are highly motivated to keep on laughing, you will give it up and this is exactly how you have always backed out of your own ability to have fun. The question is: will you go on like this?     

 

I don’t wait until you are gone, to enjoy my solitude, as I already enjoy it, by laughing about it, while you are still here, with your nasty, treacherous, coercive, overwhelming Disembodied Language (DL). I don’t postpone, as I am already here, with my delightful Embodied Language (EL). You have gone off the deep end with your DL. However, all DL is done, because EL is the future. You have never swayed me from my own ability, joy and courage, to laugh about all your nonsense. My laughter, about anyone’s pathetic DL, signifies my Language Enlightenment (LE). I need it, because without it, I could never have stopped my own DL.

 

I find humor in your DL, because I laugh at myself and my own dreadful conditioning history with DL. If you consider your laughter-deprived, contradictory, chaotic, stressful, fearful life a little further, you’ll notice, in your current situation, you don’t seem to have any desire for prolonged laughter, because you only want a few cheap laughs. In other words, you got what you asked for and you would only get something different, if you asked for something else. Moreover, it makes a huge difference, whether you ask someone else or yourself. Naturally, others can’t give to you, what you can only give to yourself and that is why, they are bound to disappoint you.  

 

Laughter has basically been gone from your life for so long already, that there is no trace to be found of it anywhere. Indeed, the more you look into it, the more you realize, the minimal amount of fun you once had, has been gone without you being aware about it. You’ve accepted the absence of humor as a fact of your troublesome life. When you dare to ask yourself for more laughter, you realize, how miserly  you have always been. You actually always wanted much more laughter, than you have ever asked for.

 

Your request for laughter – which only occurs when you engage in DL – is going to determine how much you are going to get. You get nothing. Even if you manage to have some laughter, it is like a drop on a hot plate. Immediately, your uncomfortable, phony, canned laughter evaporates. After it is gone, it is, as if the volume was turned off and everything seems even more tiresome and serious. You are only going to laugh more, if you acknowledge how ridiculous it is, to demand more laughter and that you are really laughable, without having anything to laugh about.  Of course, this only happens, when your DL is gone.  

 

Only when you engage in EL, you acquire that lovely sense of silliness, which is necessary to shake off all the self-imposed requirements, which could never produce what you wanted anyway. So, there you are, for the first time, trying your luck, on your own humor. You keep telling yourself – with DL – that you are not funny, that you can’t be funny, but – with EL – you are funny. You have to let yourself know, that you are not who you believed yourself to be. That person is gone, when you have fun. You believed to be someone, who was starved for some humor, but this was setting you up for failure. You are way funnier, than you believed yourself to be.

 

Your EL lets you know, there is a difference between having fun or having fon. You have little fun, as long as you perceive yourself to be someone, but when that someone is gone, you have a lot of fon, when you get really turned on and begin to bring it on. It is quite a phenomenon, to come upon and act on your own kind of fon. Another relieving aspect of your own humor is, that it is not a given, that you have to roll over the floor or have to laugh until you have pain in your stomach. Such expectations are unrealistic and illustrate, your concept of humor was a stand-in-the-way. As I have previously stated, the stand-up-comedian is also a stand-in-the-way to your own humor. The so-called belly-laughter can be a wonderful thing, but it is overrated, as there is much more to humor, than such a visceral response.

 

You haven’t had much genuine laughter, because you never paid attention to the subtle, vocal, verbal aspects of your own humor, which don’t involve any strong physiological responses. Such refinement is a product of your EL, which can only occur when your blunt DL is gone. As you read or hear these words, you can feel a pleasure in this text, which definitely is in support of laughter, although it is not making you laugh. It prepares you for divine  laughter – your LE – which continues, because you do – with your EL – what it takes, to make it happen. There is much more to laugh about yourself, than about others.  

 

You have not gone beyond your usual way of dealing with language, but if you talk, out loud, alone, with yourself, so you can hear yourself, you find so much joy in your voice, which invites you to explore your LE with your EL. Your DL has gone on way too long and has taken you so far away from yourself, that, most likely, you don’t recognize your own authentic voice anymore. However, if you persist in talking with yourself, about things which are funny to you and keep listening to yourself, you will hear your real voice reappear in the absence of any fear. All your fear is gone, when you move on from your DL.