Suddenly,

 

Suddenly, an emptiness presents itself and I have nothing to say or to write. It takes me forever, to come up with something and even though I can produce some words, they are not about anything in particular. Amazingly, I can and want to continue, to let this silence speak and be verbally expressed.

 

I love my Embodied Language (EL) and feel grateful, that I can do this. My Language Enlightenment (LE) is in full bloom, as my EL continues so peacefully. I am so satisfied and happy. My ability to be where I am derives from the fact, that I don’t feel like going anywhere else. Also, I have nothing better to do, than to spend my time with my own language.

 

I am reminded of a poem, I wrote some time ago:

                                        it is

                                        really true

                                       that I have

                                       nothing better

                                       to do

                                       than to write

                                       these words

                                       for you

 

A calmness creates a slow verbal flow, which is like a vast river. Yesterday, I was near the creek, which was almost overflowing, because it has rained so much. I love the rain and heard, it will continue to rain some more. It has been incredibly dry for a long time, but now, it has been raining for many weeks, which is very unusual for us, here in Chico, California, USA.  

 

There is an awareness that I am everything, as I am the one who experiences everything: the drought and the rain, the stillness and the storm and also, being alone and being together. I had a wonderful weekend and look forward to going to work again tomorrow. I feel rested and awake and in a little while, I will sleep some more. When I close my eyes, sleep comes easy and there are hardly any dreams.

 

Every day, during my lunch break, I take a short nap in my car, which I park in the park. It is such a great pleasure, to turn back the seat and to doze off for about twenty or thirty minutes. If it doesn’t rain, I have the window open and hear the birds. It feels like spring is in the air. I always wake up on time and refreshed and drive back to work, which is nearby.

 

Sleep is such a wonderful phenomenon. During the weekend, I also take naps, whenever I feel like it, but this weekend, I didn’t have the urge to do that. I look forward to going back to sleep again now and my anticipation is like a child, who has received a present and is about to open it, to see what is in it. My excitement is my curiosity, not an eagerness to possess. All my sleep is good and all my daily awake experiences are good. It is such a good life I’m living.

 

I have dissolved in everything and everything speaks through me. I am sleeping with my eyes right open. I am so still and fearless, I might as well be dead. I bought two cards, one for my mother and one for my father. I will also write them a letter, although I don’t know, if they would still be able to read it. My parents are in their nineties. I have forgotten their age, as I haven’t spoken with them or heard from them for quite some time. I felt, I needed to stay away from my family, to be able to continue with my own life. I feel an acceptance, I couldn’t feel before.

 

I have been confused about myself for many years, but I have worked things out and now I am resolved. In a round-about way, I can say, I have found myself, because I had to be lost. I was so dissatisfied, that I was searching and I had to find out what worked for me. My own Disembodied Language (DL) had to be abandoned before it could be replaced with EL. Now that this has been done, I live my life, with my LE. It is obvious, I am enlightened, but others aren’t. They cannot be, as they keep DL going and, thus, deal with their language the wrong way. Of course, they too can experience what I experience, but this is only possible, after they have stopped their own DL.

 

Nothing about my LE is a big deal. My EL explains this very well. Everyone can be happy with who they truly are and acquire the language, which perfectly matches with their experience. In DL, this is not the case. There are no problems to be addressed or  solved in EL, only our DL has to be stopped. As long as we are dealing with problems, we engage in DL. Stopping DL, however, is not the denial of problems, but the end of our suffering. Knowing that your DL creates and maintains all your struggles, frustration, distraction, confusion, worries and trouble, makes you step out of it, without any effort. With ongoing EL, you begin a new way of life, which – although you almost don’t dare to believe it – never goes back to DL anymore, as you have attained your LE.