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Although it has taken me a long time to achieve this, I can truly say, I am finally happy at age sixty-four. My happiness means, that because of my Embodied Language (EL), I can stay with myself and not feel so affected, by the negativity and chaos, which is going on everywhere. I don’t claim to be impervious to it, but I feel very good about how far I have come, as compared to how I have been. I used to be reactive and emotional about everything, but my EL allowed me to be more rational, in control and centered.

 

I don’t give myself away anymore and feel satisfied with who I have become, although I didn’t become what I once set out to be. I am so happy, I didn’t become a psychologist and withdrew from that horrible PhD-study. Also, I’m glad, I didn’t become some famous seminar leader or a public speaker, as I am very private and need to live, as I do today.

 

I’ve tried to be, who I was not, since I felt so restless and unfulfilled. I no longer experience this aching pain of feeling ignored and of being unimportant. Today, I recognize, that who I am, is only for me and not for anyone with Disembodied Language (DL). My way of life is now adjusted to the continuation of my own EL, because, at long last, my Language Enlightenment (LE) is represented in my daily use of language, in spite of the fact, that there are so very few people to share it with. This lack of interest for EL and, therefore, for LE, frustrated and confused me so much, because, for me, it seems so obvious, our DL results in increasingly worse circumstances.  

 

My view of what is going to happen to those, who continue with DL, isn’t anything anyone would like to hear. However, I can’t be – and I don’t want to be – nonjudgmental about what I know to be true: DL is ruining the lives of millions of people. Since I used to want to prevent that, because I had a typical Christian savior-complex, my own DL was ruining my own life too. Although I discovered EL in my early twenties, it took me until, a month ago, I began to let my EL become focused on my LE. Before, I didn’t realize how much this matters, but now it is clear, my EL wasn’t able to continue, as it wasn’t yet understood as a function of my original self.

 

The real me, my true self, my intelligence – or, for the lack of a better word, my soul – or my sense of humor are all verbalizations of my LE, described by my EL. If I didn’t feel this to be the case, I would be talking nonsense, but I’m not, like those who don’t have EL, but who have DL, pretending that what I do is right, while in fact it isn’t. In other words, I owned up to my own history of conditioning with DL, as I couldn’t deny my own inability to continue with EL, even though I was the first human being to discover this marvelous new way of dealing with language.  

 

I always felt, people should come to me, instead of me coming to them, but I couldn’t resist, as I was the only one, who knew EL and wanted others to know about it too. I never cared for anyone’s praise or approval and went through many experiences of rejection, before my EL could continue, stabilize and remain with its source: my LE.

 

All of the aforementioned was absolutely necessary for me and will be necessary for anyone, who wants to have ongoing EL and realize their LE. I find writing about this process so enjoyable, as it gives me the opportunity to elaborate – to myself – about how EL works. Surely, like everyone with DL, I too have my own tendencies to make it seem as if I already know how EL works. I’m in a strange position, because I’m the one, who discovered EL and I admit, it made me feel entitled. I felt, I should be recognized, as that is the only way in which others could have EL too.

 

Although I have given many workshops, seminars  and sessions, although I have studied and taught psychology for many years, my achievement was never publicly recognized and I have had to come to terms with the fact, this is never going to happen. I am the only one, who knows and can know my LE. It is a great privilege to have discovered EL, which – in spite of my struggles and conflicts and my endlessly going back and forth between DL and EL – afforded access to my LE. I am grateful for what is happening today, as each moment is a blessing. This may sound corny, but it is really true. If you would talk with me and get to know me, you would know, I live the life I am describing and you could live that life as well, if you, like me, became aware of what is stopping your EL. You can’t have EL, if you don’t know your DL and your EL will only be about your LE, if it continues.