Enough,

 

When you discover, you can engage in Embodied Language (EL) instead of Disembodied Language (DL), there is no more time to lose. You have been unknowingly involved in DL your whole life, but enough is enough, you want to move on, although you don’t know, where EL will take you. Your jump of faith is going to pay off, but, initially, you have absolutely no idea, what your EL will bring to you.

 

Once you have given EL a chance more often, you know it brings you only positive experiences, but, if you reluctantly admit to yourself, that your DL never did you any good, your EL isn’t going to have much of an effect. If you only allow a miserly little bit of EL, this will create nothing but trouble for you. Either you have EL wholeheartedly, by continuing with it and enjoying it or you try to cherish some sort of special, contrasting experience, which turns your world upside down and, thus, you immediately go back again, to your old DL ways. EL isn’t going to deliver you from your long history of conditioning.

 

I myself have come a long way with my EL. At this moment, there is hardly anyone, with whom I can share my EL, but that’s perfectly fine with me. It used to make me feel rejected and sad, but these days, it fills me with a sense of dignity and victory. I have overcome my own negative reactions, to what was and is happening. EL was and still continues to be disregarded, as people haven’t had enough of their DL. To the contrary, they are convinced, their DL matters more, than the few, short moments of EL, they have had. At best, their EL is a peculiarity to them, because they cannot put it into context. Their EL doesn’t continue, as they don’t view it, as the expression of their Language Enlightenment (LE). 

 

I had to become more protective of myself, because  in my enthusiasm and eagerness to share my LE and EL with others, I was giving myself away, again and again. I don’t write these long, seemingly repetitive, texts, with a deliberate purpose, to turn people off, but am well aware, my dense writings can have this selective effect, as people need to make an effort, to understand what I am trying to convey. In the past, I was trying so hard to reach people, but now people will have to try hard to reach me. For me, it is better this way, as people will have to spend time with me, to be able to realize, it is indeed only their own LE, which makes them want to continue with their EL.

 

Of course, I could also say, I’ve had enough of trying to reach people, but that wouldn’t be accurate. I still want to reach out to you, but my experience of how that is affecting me became more apparent. I cannot afford to have any arguments with anyone anymore and my writings helped me enormously, in steering  myself away from this great temptation. By writing about my LE, I have stabilized in my EL. It couldn’t have happened in any other way. I have come to accept and recognize, it is true for me, my LE has priority over wanting to share my EL with others. 

 

Everything you can possibly know about yourself and others is hidden in your language. However, you don’t pay enough attention, to how you deal with your language, to be able to dissolve in your EL and express your LE. To you, many other things are more important than your own language and that is why you keep getting stuck in DL and give up on EL. I am not here to encourage or convert you. I can write or say this, because I have taken the steps, I describe.

 

When I discovered EL, in my mid-twenties, I knew, I had found my access to LE, but, apparently, there were still many things, I myself didn’t have enough of yet. Even today – forty years later – I find myself having to admit, there are still things, I haven’t had enough of, which inevitably, temporarily, distract me from my LE. Before, I would feel embarrassed about this, but now, I find it funny, because it is actually so hard, not to be enlightened. My hang ups usually last only briefly. I don’t worry about having them, as everything is always working out beautifully for me. I feel permanently forgiven for all my mistakes, but I am very judgmental about others. I have no shame  admitting, I feel disgusted by the DL of others. The kinder I have become to myself, the less tolerant I am about having to put up with anyone’s negativity. 

 

You may hear that some people are talking, but you don’t hear their voices loud enough, to be able to understand what they are saying. Only if you come closer, a threshold is passed, as you have enough audible input, to be able to follow the conversation. With EL, however, it is not the sound of someone else’s voice, that we listen to, but our own voice. Obviously, we must speak, to hear our own voice.

 

Although, whether we know it or not, we always hear our own voice, while we speak, but we don’t listen to ourselves, while we speak, deliberately. The threshold with listening to ourselves is only met, if we talk often enough out loud with ourselves, to be able to hear, that our authentic sound is effortlessly expressing our wellbeing. What we say, with our embodied sound, has a different meaning than what we say, with a disembodied sound. To acknowledge, admit, accept, explore and enjoy this, we have to have enough EL by ourselves, but also with others.  

 

In my big family, there was a lot of screaming, crying, but, confusingly, also talking, going on. Due to how I grew up, I had many anxieties and had to figure out, how to live with myself. Although I have been happily married for many years, we chose not to have any children, as I wasn’t resolved about how I was raised. Discovering EL meant, for me, there is a way of talking, in which there aren’t any problems. I couldn’t believe it myself, others couldn’t believe it, but, somehow, I kept exploring it, in spite of my own traumas. I realize, already at an early age, I had enough of DL. I escaped home, was on the street all day and nowhere to be found for doing any chores.