Acting,

 

I had an uncle, who was a stage actor and who was also on Dutch TV in various shows. Whenever he would show up at a family gathering, all attention was on him, as he always had some wild stories, which made everyone laugh. He took a liking in me. I went with him to the theater, where he performed and to the studios, where they made TV shows and movies. According to my parents, he bragged, but he loved to act and he was successful and wealthy.

 

For a long time, I didn’t know, what I wanted to be. I had been in a play and in a musical at school. At one point, I believed, I wanted to become an actor, like my uncle, but in acting school, I found out, I didn’t want to act, I just wanted to be myself. My uncle had never gone to any school. However, I’ve always liked to dramatically express myself, as I felt there was magic in that. I would say or do something, with which I would surprise myself, because it was totally new.

 

In retrospect, I had no clue, back then, why I was so enthralled with expressing myself and, later, in the disco, I was – after smoking something – dancing like a madman, because I loved to move my body to the rhythm of the music and find a girl, to have sex with. For a while, it seemed, as if life was only about dancing and having sex. I went on like this, but then I did a therapy group, in which I met Bonnie, who became my wife. We have been happily married for 38 years. Initially, I still continued my old ways, but I wanted to be true to her and so, I had to change my ways. I knew, that it was either one or the other.

 

Bonnie and I didn’t create any children, but due to our relationship, I discovered Embodied Language (EL). When people miss out on love – something, which happens all the time – it is because they are unable to talk honestly about their feelings. It was very important to me, to be able to communicate, as I experienced abuse, betrayal and abandonment, while I was young. I felt so unworthy and conflicted, but I was able to heal, due to my love for Bonnie and her love for me, but mostly, due to her love of herself.

 

When you find out about your own EL, you will have stopped – to your own surprise – your Disembodied Language (DL). This doesn’t mean, however; you are now done with your conditioning history with DL. To the contrary, it is the very beginning of your journey, to liberate yourself, from who you believed yourself to be. With EL, you are going to find out, that you are not, who you have said to be. In other words, as the way in which you use your language changes, everything will change. This beautiful transformational process is with you for the rest of your life, as your EL, is bound to reveal your Language Enlightenment (LE).

 

With DL, we have learned to act in ways, which are not true, to who we really are. To have EL, we have to stop acting. This is why you hardly don’t have any EL: you keep pretending, to have what you consider to be EL. If you really had EL, you would stop acting as immaturely and stupidly, as you do, because that is what it takes. In acting-school, some arrogant jerk of a teacher told me, to act like a boiled egg, but I refused. I told him, I just couldn’t do it, as I didn’t want to. He was infuriated, that I blatantly defied his instructions and angrily blurted out the truth: may be, you just don’t want to act? Everybody laughed, but was silent, when I thanked him, as I walked out and said, in a dead-serious tone, that he was right.

 

People everywhere, unknowingly, mechanically act as if they are intelligent, truthful, accepting, aware, open, caring, friendly or patient, but they just put up a show. My ability to express myself and really be myself – which I always had, since childhood – had been overruled, by the coercive DL of the people I grew up with, even by my beloved actor uncle. Only my German grandmother could feel, who I really was and remembering her brings tears of joy. I went to visit her so many times, as I felt always welcome.

 

When I still fantasized about being an actor, I went to see many plays in the theater. I saw my uncle, in his act on the stage, back-stage and, at home, where he commanded and domineered his wife and children. I am reminded of the big, old theater, in my hometown, The Hague. Above the stage, there was this carved out banner, with the Latin saying: vox populi, vox dei, which means, the voice of the people, is the voice of god. This maxim became the very basis of democratic governments. Another interpretation of the saying is: the best judge of the acting, is the audience. I disagree fundamentally with this, as in my view, I know best what is right for me, not someone else.

 

People have described listening to themselves while they speak – the operational definition of EL – as a spiritual act. Likewise, people have  misinterpreted talking with themselves, which is a real thing, with talking with their so-called god, which, is merely a fantasy. Sadly, spirituality has taken the place of our ability to talk with ourselves and each other. It will have to go, if we want to have EL, in which we can talk with each other, in the same way as we talk with ourselves. When we have EL, it is very clear, we share our LE, but this has nothing to do with any spiritual ritual or act, as we are simply expressing our own wellbeing. The blissful expression of our enlightenment is not a matter of acting.