Even,

 

Even during my Embodied Language (EL), while I am expressing my Language Enlightenment (LE), I still want to address your meaningless Disembodied Language (DL), because my EL and my LE are not appreciated or understood by you. When I criticize your unconscious, dumb, mean way of dealing with language, you immediately feel, I am addressing you, because you engage in stupid DL every day.

 

You would probably say, it is my way of getting even with you, as DL is the only language you are familiar with and can relate to. However, I don’t engage in DL, even if I judge you and hold you accountable for your actions. I am not who you believe me to be. I am even worse than your worst nightmare, because I am real and I always talk about real matters. You can’t deny what I say and even if you did, it would only prove my point, which is: you are full of shit.

 

You are always negative, even if you try to sound positive. Your mean, vindictive, distrustful, hurtful,    pretentious, deceitful behavior is very apparent, even while you try so hard, to act as if you are kind, patient, respectful, cooperative or truthful. Even if you would ever come close, to recognizing the great difference between your DL and EL, you would shy away from it, because you are already too far gone.

 

Since you have, so to speak, sold your soul to the devil – because you only engage in DL – you just can’t stand it, even if I merely pay attention to you, because my attention always shows what an ugly, frustrated, hateful, stressful and dissatisfied person you really are. Even someone as insensitive as you, can’t help, but feel the contrast. Even if I don’t say anything at all, you are upset, anxious and uneasy  around me, as you know, that you can’t control me.

 

Even if you obsessively try to get me on your side, I am not coming to your side and it greatly irritates you, to notice, the harder you try, the more you are coming to my side. The crumbling of your dumb DL, is bound to happen, with anyone, who is with me. I don’t do anything, but you are the one, who tries to change me, but you are not succeeding. Even if you don’t want to admit it, you know, you act foolishly. 

 

Even before you consciously acknowledged it, there was, of course, a great difference between your DL and your EL. You have had some brief moments of EL, but you could never continue with it, as your DL took over again. Your happiness lasted for a few moments and then it was gone again. The harder you tried to get it back, the less you succeeded and so, you basically gave up on it. Your situation isn’t uncommon. Everyone with DL is in the same boat.

 

You don’t even know what you are doing, because  language merely happens to you. You even believe that you think and that you have a mind, but you are not in charge of your language. Even when you try to be in control of your so-called thoughts, you never succeed and that is why you can’t sleep and why you wear yourself out, because you are never at rest. Your rigid, superficial, effortful way of dealing with language, illustrates – even if you have a lot of education, even if you attain a socially powerful position, even if you get a lot things done, even if you become famous, even if you get married two, three or four times – your life is a total mess. And, even your religion doesn’t give you any relief.

 

Even if you don’t talk with me, I have EL and I enjoy myself tremendously, hammering your idiotic DL. It is my LE, which makes me want to use my EL, to let you know what you are missing. Your life is full of misery, chaos, conflict and suffering, but even that is not enough, to begin to talk with yourself and listen to yourself, so you could begin to instruct yourself, to move on to something better. Whatever you have told yourself with your DL, didn’t and couldn’t help. You haven’t even begun to recognize, all of your problems are created and maintained by your DL.      

 

You even struggle with your pets, your children, your neighbors, your not-so-significant other, your ex and all of your friends. Even while you sleep, you are involved in something tense and worrisome. It is your life, but you don’t even seem to realize, you are wasting your time on nonsense beliefs. At some point, you hit a brick wall, you get sick, you spin out of control, you become addicted, you just don’t care anymore about anything, because you never even cared for anything in the first place. Perhaps, you burst out screaming or crying, but, only after you are done with your negative bullshit, will you come  to your senses. Even if you discover your EL, you only become even-keeled, if you can continue with it. Yes, nothing less will do, as that is your LE.