See,

 

Since you only know how to engage in Disembodied Language (DL) and, therefore, are unable to engage in Embodied Language (EL) – because the two are mutually exclusive – you find written words, such as these, more important than spoken words. Actually, if you would look into it (pun intended), you would discover, that you find your spoken words, which you can hear, are more important than the words you write or read. However, to your own detriment, you have been culturally conditioned, to prefer the latter. Yes,  your conditioning history is against what you naturally prefer as an individual and you remain  unconsciously tormented by this fact of life, unless you figure out, how you want to use your language.

 

Clearly, due to education, science, and technology, we go against our human nature, by making it seem as if visual stimuli are biologically more important  than auditory stimuli. Consequently, what you say, is more important than how you say it – not the other way around. Although we hear, time and again, the phrase “it’s not what you say but how you say it”, it has become a total cliché, as we only pay lip-service to how we sound, that is, to how we say things, while we speak. Nonetheless, the saying matters more than ever, because it is so true, as it  pinpoints exactly the difference between DL and EL.

 

Our common so-called understanding very clearly derives from our almost permanent involvement in DL. The saying basically says: we want to hear and have EL instead of DL. Supposedly, communication is about content and delivery, fifty-fifty, but, when it comes to the handful of presumably specialized talkers – our leaders, who may do all the talking, by demanding everyone’s attention – we have been forever bamboozled into the childish belief that our so-called great leaders relate to us, ordinary people.

 

I would say that great leaders engage in EL instead of DL, but I know for a fact, this is absolutely not the case. Leaders, like everyone else, merely pretend to have EL, while, in fact, they always engage only in DL. If there would be a leader with EL, people would begin to have EL, but such a leader is nowhere to be found. People searched for truth all over the place, but have only imagined that they have found it, as they were driven by visual stimuli and, therefore, they have never listened to themselves. If they would pay closer attention to what they hear, they would recognize and know, that their leaders fake it until they make it. Leadership with DL is a big joke.

 

Everyone with DL likes to believe, that they already know, that any so-called innovative ideas, will have to be delivered, in a way that connects with other people and relates to them in a meaningful way, but this predetermined tendency, to convince others, has never worked. That is why the worn-out saying “it is not what you say but how you say it” is totally meaningless. In other words, we never shifted our attention from visual to auditory stimuli, so that we could stop our DL and finally engage in EL. Stated differently, elevated leaders, have, inadvertently, always spoken in the same way everyone else speaks, which means, as speakers, they try, in every way possible, to dominate the listener, preferably,  by making it seem as if they really connect or care.

 

We mainly have DL, but seldom EL, and even when we do, it is only a short-lived, awkward, special, but illusive moment of genuine empathy or caring and then we go on again with business as usual. These brief, shocking, unexpected occurrences of EL, are confusing, as we never achieved or experienced any  ongoing EL. In short, our need to, supposedly, make it, constantly overtakes and pushes out our ability to be open and sincere in a consequential manner.

 

Courses, in which we, supposedly, learn how to  communicate effectively, don’t teach us to have EL instead of DL. Everything that is taught, is taught with DL. Learning would be a real conversation, if we were taught with EL. I looked it up – hahaha – guess what? People are even taught to look others straight in the eye, to, supposedly, really see them. They are literally told, nothing is more dismissive,  demeaning or disrespectful, than not recognizing people, by not making eye contact, while you speak. This is an example of how speakers manipulate the listeners, by making them look at them and, thus, making them pay attention to what they say.  

 

Hilariously, people are also taught to be direct and genuine. Anyone who has EL, will be able to tell you that directness and genuineness is innate, but if one tries to be direct or genuine, this always means one engages in phony, scripted, superficial DL. Also, students of communication, are made to believe, that leadership is not about controlling people, but about breaking down barriers and creating a sense of trust. In EL, there are no barriers to be broken down, as we reciprocate our experiences of trust.

 

Anyone who studies communication, is going to  hear about the presumed importance of telling stories. From an EL perspective, however, this emphasis on telling stories, is about monologues being more important than dialogue and pushing a particular narrative. In EL, we stop rehashing the same old story, which perpetuates our conditioning. How we say things, deals with how we feel while  we speak, but we can’t feel anything, if there is no opportunity to address how we feel, that is, as long as what we, presumably, think is more important. It is only during DL, we keep unsuccessfully trying to increase our self-awareness, as in EL, we are already aware, so we don’t need to work on ourselves, as we receive, continuously, auditory feedback from the pleasant sound of our voice, while we speak.

 

You have not yet had EL, so come and talk with me and find out what it is like. Aren’t you so bored, fed up and disappointed with DL, that you feel like you live a meaningless life? It is the first day of the new year, so why not do something boldly new and talk with me? You can make a skype appointment with me, my skype name is limbicease and clarify EL is not a mystical theory, but a reality, you can create.

 

My language goes where it wants to go. I let it go to you, if that is what this moment tells me to do. I let it happen and I write or speak about what I want to write or speak about, as often as I can. This is such a delight, as I do not know, when I open my mouth or put my pen on the paper, where my EL will go. Of course, I take my own safety precautions, not to get in trouble, that is why I stay away from your DL as much as I can. I would be stupid to expect, that I could say what I write here, to just anyone and if you read this, I want you to know, that you are one of the few, who actually consider what I am saying and writing. Most people find my writing too long or too repetitive, that is fine with me, as I don’t do anything to write or speak in any particular way to please others, because I only write or speak in this way to please myself. Yes, it feels so good to be able to do this and those, who pay attention to what I am doing, know, I am not hurting anyone, although, occasionally, I feel like lashing out at the tragedy of DL, which is our unaddressed usual way of talking.

 

Look, you may be used to DL, but that doesn’t mean  you have to go on with it. Of course, you can stop it and you can have EL instead and engage in EL with me. I write this blog to hopefully make that happen. Even if is doesn’t happen, I continue to write about EL, as I have changed so much by speaking it, that I am even having great fun, just bashing your dumb,  aggressive, disgusting, superficial, twisted DL. What else can I do? I like to poke fun at your DL. I know I am not particularly funny, but rather annoying for others, but I am very funny, according to myself. This is because I am not trying to be funny, while I am exploring my EL. It is sidesplitting, you don’t get it. Although I have been sad, frustrated, confused and worried about it, I no longer feel that way, as I know that your inability to laugh with me, has made me laugh even more. It seems true, for me, that the more I laugh with myself, the less I laugh with you.

 

I am not trying to be funny for you, but I find, the more serious I am with you, the more fun I have. To me EL is serious, since I know perfectly well why you can’t have it. In the same way, a boy grows up to pray in church or sing in a choir, because he is, like I was, raised in a Catholic family, he will never, all of a sudden, out of the blue, begin to recite Buddhist’ mantras or perform Hindu Puja rituals, as that was never a part of his upbringing or his behavioral conditioning history. How are you going to have EL, if there wouldn’t be someone like me – who is not teaching it to you and you are not learning it from him –  with whom you can talk? There is no other way to acquire it. Forget about learning EL, as you will never get what it is, as long as you believe, due to your previous conditioning, that you can learn it.

 

I find that funny that EL cannot be learned, because I myself have tried, in vain, for many years, to teach it. The joke is on me and your stubborn, cowardly, ignorant refusal to talk with me, validates each point I am making in this writing. Are you daring enough, are you having enough sense of humor, to have EL and laugh about yourself? I would like, you would say yes, but I know, you are probably not going to do that. Perhaps, you still continue reading. In that case, these words may still get under your skin. They may strike a chord with you, that there is no point to my formulation of EL, if it there wasn’t, just now the realization, that you are reading and understanding, how this text is really changing you.

 

You cannot read this, while hanging on to your old belief, that these words – like the muddy words you are used to reading or hearing elsewhere – are derived from DL, because you already know, they are not. What you read is the written version of EL. Moreover, I am reading these words together with you, although I am writing these words, with my mouth closed. I and you can speak like this and I can make you imagine, what it is like to hear this. I use these words, which are, of course, visual stimuli, to bring your attention, to how you would sound, that is, to auditory stimuli. I can tell, if you are getting it and so can you. Since you aren’t speaking yet, there’s only this writing, I want you to get. If you have read it, you’ll get it. You cannot miss it, as you have seen these words, which cannot be unseen.